IS CHEATING REALLY WORTH IT?

Can Cheating Ever Be Okay?

There is nothing new about the concept of unfaithfulness in a committed relationship. In romantic relationships and marriages cheating is one of the misfortunes. The truth is there are a number of reasons why you shouldn't be cheating on your girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse or partner. Unfortunately, it is not possible to justify cheating.

When we think about infidelity in relationships, we think that it could never happen in our own relationship. We often think of infidelity as something that only occurs in broken, unhappy relationships, or when partners are feeling super desperate. But the truth of the matter is that infidelity can occur in even the happiest couple.

How you answer the question "Is cheating ever okay?" may depend upon whether you are the cheater or the one being cheated on and or maybe by your own moral compass. Some look at cheating as a black and white issue and others as one with many shades of grey. In any relationship, this difference of perspective can create a great deal of trouble.

Cheating is, sadly, more common in romantic relationships, even in marriages. Cheating is when you or your partner entertain someone else while you're in a relationship. Cheating can't be justified, for it damages not only the relationship, but also the person being cheated on.

The question as to whether cheating is ever justified is both an ethical and moral one. For most, the general answer is: "No," and that's never good. Then how do you explain the fact that it's still happening? Isn't that just the lack of impulse control? Yes, that's probably the case in a lot of cases. But in others, they will insist that there is a justifiable reason for departing from the boundaries of their relationship. But is it, well, actually true that such justifications exist?

A lot of the time, cheating may be a result of not feeling content with a relationship. But if you resort to cheating to feel better, you're just making the situation super messy.

Things that Cause Cheating

Revenge and Anger

Turnabout as fair play is a common justification for infidelity. If you have been cheated on by your husband or wife, the desire to hurt your spouse the way you have been hurt can be strong, almost overwhelming. It doesn't matter how good a relationship it is, sometimes you and your partner get angry. Some studies have shown that people cite anger towards their partner as the reason that they cheated, explaining that cheating acted as a way to get back at their partner. Even though you're not looking to cheat, temptation can be too strong and difficult to overcome when an opportunity presents itself. It seems easy to think, "It's my turn" when a pretty girl at the office gives you signals or some guy on the bar looks interested." Cheating on your spouse is not going to make you any better. It doesn't solve any of the problems, only adds to them.

No Sex, Sex

This is a tough one for many. Most men and women enjoy having sex on a regular basis. But in a lot of relationships, it's weighted towards the one side or the other. He's asking for more than she's asking for, or she's asking for more than he is. This is usually a matter for couples to work out and find each other's matrimonial equilibrium. In some relationships, however, one partner may not want sex at all. One of the partners may be in a dilemma due to these circumstances. Celibacy or cheat? Passion is a crucial part of long term relationships, and even if you and your partner are happy and in love, if the passion is not there, one person may turn to infidelity as a way to satiate sexual desire.

To avoid letting differences in sexual desires or libidos lead to infidelity, you and your partner need to openly discuss your sex life on a regular basis. Would you both feel good about it? Are you happy with the amount of sex that you are having? In your bedroom, are you willing to try something new? Do you and your partner have different libidos? Would you consider opening up your relationship so that both of your sexual desires are met? These are all questions worth asking in order to make sure that both you and your partner are sexually satisfied. Not only will these open conversations help prevent infidelity in the relationship, they will also significantly improve your sex life which will improve all other aspects of your relationship as well.

Needing variety and Thrill seeking

As upsetting as this can be to hear, certain people no matter how happy they are in a relationship cheat on their partners out of a need to experience variety. It's not because of any flaw in this relationship, but rather about the individual and his or her desires. Some people are just not cut out for monogamy, which means that they are not satisfied with having one sexual partner. It's sometimes necessary for people to feel trapped in a monogamous relationship to learn about themselves. In the worst case scenario, this feeling of confinement can cause them to lash out in a way and sleep with another person.

Sometimes people cheat because of deep-seeded thrill seeking behavior. Knowing that something is wrong or taboo is exciting to some people, and can lead them to infidelity even if they are in a happy relationship. This behavior is some of the hardest to navigate in a relationship, because it has nothing to do with the relationship itself. To keep things exciting, you and your partner can explore different thrilling kinds of sex. Adding role playing, sex in public places, toys or intimate games to your sexual repatoir can help thrill seekers feel satisfied in the relationship without turning to infidelity.

"The Marriage Was Already Over" Affair

Infidelity is more often than not traced back to feelings of loneliness. Loneliness is often a result of neglect, and can lead someone to feel that they are overlooked or unappreciated in their relationship. If someone is feeling neglected in a relationship, or has underlying self-esteem issues, they might be more likely to cheat. Getting swept up into new romance can be very seductive when you're barely speaking to one another, or don't remember the feeling of being "in love". It's good that for the first time in a while, we can understand and appreciate each other. How can that be wrong? You may even begin consoling yourself with one of the many platitudes for these situations, like "the heart wants what the heart wants." After all the marriage was basically over, right? It's normal to wish that you were loved and appreciated.

But you really don't have a moral or even legal right to start dating someone else while you're still in a relationship, when you take vows with one person. Having an affair is not illegal, but your marriage is a legally recognized partnership and cheating will only complicate matters.

Lack of clarity

Cheating can have a lot to do with misunderstandings about the state of your relationship. Your partner may not be on the same page as you about openness in your relationship, if you and your partner did not define a relationship. How can your partner know that this is the expectation of the relationship if the conversation is not sexually exclusive?

Sure, you'll be thinking things aren't spoken about, but it can lead to misunderstandings and mistakes or even an affair if you don't explain your boundaries in the relationship. In order to prevent misunderstandings of the relationship terms, it is important for you to communicate in an open and transparent way as regards your relationship status and expectations from your partner.

If you are uncertain about the direction of your relationship, it may also be linked to this lack of clarity. If you're happy in a relationship, but don't see the relationship as an ongoing thing, you might be more prone to sleeping with other people or breaking their partners' trust. The problem is that there's little faith in a common future. Your partner may give in to temptation if they don't consider that your relationship is real.

Why Cheating on Your Partner is Never Worth It?

CHEATERS ALWAYS GET CAUGHT

Your significant other is going to feel like something's wrong, and they're going to do everything in their power to figure it out. Think again, if you're thinking about continuing to lie to your partner. In the dark, no secrets can be kept; you're going to get captured if you cheat. Whether you realize this or not, getting caught is an inevitable reality of infidelity. Maybe you're a clever man, but your smartness doesn't protect you from being captured. Imagine what it's like to be caught. It makes you feel embarrassed and sad. Imagine how your partner would react if they caught you cheating on them? This is yet another extremely valid reason why you shouldn't cheat.

LOSS OF RESPECT

Remember, if you are confused on the matter of whether or not to cheat, it will lead to a complete loss of respect. When you get caught, which you will, your partner will see the multiple times you lied to them to cover up, and that will not sit well with your partner.

EMOTIONAL DYSFUNCTION

Here's another hard hitting truth about infidelity: you might be considering it to make yourself feel better, but it's going to end up damaging you. Cheating doesn't just affect the person who's being cheated on. In the long run, this is going to be detrimental to cheaters. Infidelity can damage you in more ways than one. You'll feel shame and guilt, which may lead you to have feelings of dissension. Even a relationship can be ruined by emotional dysfunction. Recurrent and intense experiences of such emotions can affect your personality.

TRUST ISSUES

Losing respect is accompanied by a loss of confidence. They'll lose faith in you and they won't be able to trust you again when you betray your partner. Your partner will decide to believe you during the initial stages of your relationship, but once they've destroyed that confidence it won't be easy to get back. She's going to have a hard time believing you, but her lack of faith can spread to other people in her life.

Breaking trust is like breaking a plate or glass; no matter how hard you glue the pieces together, it will remain broken.

LOSING RELATIONSHIPS

We don't just talk about losing the relationship with our partners. When you're unfaithful, and you're caught, it changes everyone's perception of you. Cheating can also ruin your relationship with your kids if you are married. Cheating is not only affecting yourself and your partner; it affects all of us. Besides, you'll start to be seen differently by your family, friends, and people who find out about your unfaithfulness. The worst possibility is that you might lose a lot of good relationships with your family, relatives, and friends if you cheat.

Another important reason why you shouldn't cheat is relationship misery. Yes, cheating will make your relationship absolutely miserable. Yes, it's true that there's a lot of trouble in your relationship. But these problems will only get worse when you cheat! Infidelity can lead to many explosive arguments and negative feelings. It's just a way of encouraging misery.

YOU'LL BE HURTING YOUR PARTNER

Do yourself a favor: if you cheat, will you be able to look at your partner normally and behave normally around her? Think about the damage you might do to your spouse's feelings before they catch you. When you cheat, you will HURT your partner. They're going to be feeling a great emotional pain. And one of those words, "I'm sorry." or "I love you" doesn't cure the pain. The pain will be too strong that there's a possibility they wouldn't be able to act normally. Imagine the intensity and the types of negative emotions your partner will be coping with if you cheat and they find out! It will affect their everyday life.

YOU WILL BREAK YOUR KIDS' HEARTS

When you cheat on your partner, and then you're caught cheating by your partner, they won't be the only person knowing the truth. If you are married and have kids, best believe that cheating on your spouse will make your kids heartbroken too. Imagine what it would have been like for them to see your family disintegrate as a result of your treachery. Cheating can mean a broken family, and the kids are most at risk of that kind of scenario. People who are near and dear to you and your partner and maybe even distant friends and relatives will find out. This can completely ruin your social standing.

KARMA WILL INSTANTLY HIT YOU

If you're cheating on someone, you'll get what you sow. You really think that you're going to get good karma after making a mockery of your partner's feelings and being inconsiderate? The Karma is powerful, and it'll blow you away in an instant.

YOU'LL BE A LIAR

Sadly, cheaters aren't just called cheaters, they're also commonly known as liars. Now think about it. Would you like others to label you liars or cheaters? And more importantly, whether others do it or not, you will see yourself as a liar and a cheater. And when you do see yourself in that negative light, you'll end up regretting your decision to be unfaithful to your partner.

YOU'LL BE SETTING A POOR EXAMPLE

Your main relationship, or your primary relationship, is a romantic relationship or marriage. When you cheat in your most important relationship, you're setting a low standard or bad example. The bad example that you're setting is not just a bad impression of you in other's eyes. You are also setting an unacceptable standard for yourself.

LOSS OF MORAL AUTHORITY

If you do decide to have an affair, it's going to wreck your moral compass above and beyond anything else. If you're married and have kids in the equation, try thinking about how you'd explain your actions to your kids when you're caught? If you did something that bad, how are you going to teach them the right thing? That is the reason you're not supposed to cheat.

YOU'LL BE CREATING BIGGER ISSUES

There's some trouble in every relationship and marriage. It's inevitable. However, when you try to deal with these problems by having an affair with a third person, you're just worsening the problems in your relationship. An affair can't be the answer to a problem with relationships. It's wrong to cheat in a relationship.

CULTIVATION OF TOXIC PATTERNS

A lot of people do not realize this about infidelity. Cheating in a romantic relationship increases your chances of cheating in any other romantic relationship. Once you start cheating in romantic relationships, there's no stopping. You're basically harming yourself by setting this toxic pattern of infidelity.

YOUR QUALITY OF LIFE WILL BE AFFECTED

Your overall standard of life can be seriously influenced by your unfaithfulness to a loved one. If you're going through a divorce because of infidelity, the stress and financial burden associated with legal separation can affect your standard of living. The fact that you don't live with your kids all the time in one house can also affect your quality of life, if you have children with a partner. Social isolation, loneliness, stress, and the financial implications of infidelity can all have a significant impact on your quality of life.

POOR OVERALL HEALTH

One of the biggest impacts of cheating on your beloved with another person is the amount of stress that you experience. Think about the amount of effort you'd have to put in to hide your secret affair from your significant other and relatives. Think about the amount of anxiety, shame, guilt, and stress you'd have to feel while you hide your secret from everyone and how exhausting both physically and mentally it can get. Think about what you're going to feel when you're caught. When you actually think about all the negative emotions you'd feel if you cheated, you'll realize the toll it can take on your overall health. Now, take a look at yourself and your partner. Do you think all this will be worthwhile?

We all agree that cheating really isn't worth it

Cheating's not the answer. Cheating's not a way to escape. This will only serve to damage the relationship further. Your friendship is not irretrievably broken. It's important that you're trying to fix things with your partner.

Cheating on someone you've made a promise to is never really justified. There are times when the reasoning can seem justified and better than "because I wanted to" but breaking a promise is still wrong. Especially when the promise is the most personal kind to respect your partner enough not to be intimate with someone else.

A lack of sex drive in one partner can be due to other problems in the marriage that need to be addressed, or even be a result of biological issues that can have remedies too. It isn't worth it to risk your marriage and compromise yourself by having an affair. Rather, the issue should be addressed with sensitivity and a joint effort is made to change it.